Dealing with the Ex: Mr. Control Freak

Since I'm still new to blogging, I'm hoping I don't get flagged if I use some potentially harsh language in reference to my ex-husband.  He brings out the anger in me.  I didn't used to be like that.  Even the guy I dated who broke a kitten's back didn't affect me like this other guy.

Mr. Control Freak has issues.  I won't get into them now, except for the name for this post.  I remember towards the end of our marriage, I'd have to sneak peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Mr. CF thinks PB&Js are bad because it's all sugar.  I tend to disagree.   There is actual nutrition in peanut butter.  And who's to say I don't use sugar-free jelly?!

Back in the days of marriage, I made myself a sandwich one evening,and he harped on me so much I just finally threw it away.  It got so bad I'd sneak them when he was at work.  I know it was around the time Patrick was born because I told my OB-GYN about it, and she got mad and asked if I wanted a prescription!  She was great.

Once we divorced, for reasons not currently discussed, there was no contact with Mr. CF and Patrick for a good four years.  Patrick became old enough to realize he didn't have a dad and people don't normally think of things like that around kids.  They'll talk about doing something with Mom and Dad, or make a Father's Day card for Dad, and it was salt in a new wound.  Patrick's therapist suggested eventually that maybe they could talk on the phone.  I was leery but I did it for Patrick's benefit.

I laid some ground rules.  Easy ones.  Talk once a week.  He's not to get to know Mr. CF's girlfriends.  No discussing what Patrick eats.  I had to add that last one when the PB&J issue came up and he started in on Patrick like he used to do to me. 

But, again, Mr. CF asked tonight what was for supper.  He should be able to remember by now.  Besides, Mr. CF never asks when I slave away for an hour cooking a good homemade meal to eat it all in 7.2 minutes!  It's only when we've had the lazy meal.  Seriously.  Stop asking. 

It also puts Patrick in a bad spot because he knows it's a rule and his dad is breaking it.  And he knows I get angry.  He starts being all subdued like HE'S the one in trouble.  And then I get to deal with any fallout.

There's no conclusion to this problem.  I just want Mr. CF to go away and not bother my kid.  'Cause if he dont,  Mama Bear gonna come out!

Broken Trust

Patrick's grounded for breaking my trust this morning.  My rule is that he's not allowed to go outside or to a neighbor's house while I'm sleeping.  He woke up at 6, and around 7:45 I woke up because the cat was pawing at my door.  I never latch the door, so I know Patrick had been around.  I called to him to open the door (so I wouldn't have to move my lazy, don't-want-to-get-up-yet butt out of bed).  When he didn't answer, I went looking for him.  I found him next door.  He's now grounded for a week.

Grounding in my house means he has to spend the time on his bed when he's home.  He can have one  non-electronic toy and as many books as he wants.  I don't really think it makes much of an impression on him though.  He makes all kinds of excuses to come out.  Water.  Toilet.  Hugs.  Food.  More food.  More food.  What's that on tv....Let's go to baseball practice, time for tutoring!  Music class is tonight!

Unfortunately, at some point today, he manged to get my good scissors.  And he cut up a pencil, his deodorant, and the stem from his deodorant.  Then he carved on the bed's headboard.  It's a good thing he was brushing his teeth when I found out because I was able to calm down a bit.  I sat there waiting for him, looking at the toys scattered on the floor.

What the heck was I doing while he was so busy?!  I mean, I watched tv, I made rice pudding, I was on the computer for a bit.  Seriously though.  Is my Mom Radar broken?!

Well, I explained to Patrick that he broke my trust this morning and it's important that he follow that rule because it's a safety issue.  Then I explained that in the 40 years my headboard has been around, I never, ever carved it with scissors.  To make more of an impression, I told him that the next day would be spent in the corner while he's home.  Somewhere I can keep track of him, but where he can't watch tv.  Maybe in the kitchen.  Is it good or bad that he has school and then tutoring tomorrow?  It'll be about an hour or so in the corner.  I haven't decided if he'll eat supper there.  I suppose I'd better have him sit at the table.  <sigh>


Lazy Single Mom

p.s. He'll clean up the bits of deodorant all over the floor once it dries a bit.  Hopefully it won't smear.  The cleaning ladies have another 28 days before they come again.  Oy.

Relaxing It Ain't

I'm supposed to have an almost-schedule free Saturday.  We have plans for the evening, but nothing else is on the books.  I wish my child would go outside and play.  I had my computer reimaged this week and I need to make sure my settings are correct and reload software.   It's not relaxing when you have to continually tell your child that he can't have it until you're done.  Seriously.  Stop asking.

On a good note, this Lazy Mom had the cleaning service in yesterday for the 2nd time in my life.  Oh, I really love coming home to a clean house!

Naming a Blog

I'm going to claim that I'm a Lazy Single Mom.  That means I don't have to type as much.  And it's a good excuse for having a house that's, well, decorated by Chaos.  In reality, though, I hate cleaning, I don't get motivated to clean unless there's company, and I am a Big Baby when my Rheumatoid Arthritis is acting up.  And when it's not.  I may actually be lazy too I guess! LOL

The name of the blog is also indicative of my status as a mom.  Technically, Patrick was 2 when I got divorced.  But from the time he was born I was essentially a single mom.  I had to take care of the baby before I left for work and make sure he was napping before I could leave, so that the husband working 2nd shift could sleep.  Then I'd come home at lunch and feed the baby.  Then I'd rush home after work and take care of the baby while the husband was at work.  So when the husband moved out the week of Patrick's 1st birthday, I didn't really notice. 

Now that the background is covered a bit, the RA part of me is screaming to stop typing. So here goes!  My first blog post! 

See you when my lazy self posts again.

Thanks for reading,
Lazy Single Mom