War and Peace

The War

I've decided to write this particular post as a therapy for my anger.  I'm just steaming right now.  I'm trying to remember the good stuff, and I will, but I'm reveling in the anger.

Patrick is in piano lessons.  He missed class just about 2 weeks ago and they started a new song.  Because he wasn't there for instruction, he doesn't know about the high-A (high-La).  I explained it last night but he insisted that it was middle C (middle-Doh).  Tonight he was arguing that it was high G (high-So), even though I showed him the progression, right there in black and white, to La.  Nope.  It's So.

I gave up and went to one of the songs we've been doing for about 3 weeks.  With enough practice, he'd be with the rest of the class on this.  We've been remiss in practicing because time just flies by.  With the amount of time it takes for school homework and the time it takes him to eat, I feel that the kid should have at least half an hour of free time a night!  But I digress!

The Dinosaur is a song he really got into, probably because it's in A Minor.  And it's about a dinosaur.  But he wasn't with the class when they started practicing the right hand, which includes eighth rests with eighth notes.  And he stumbled with it because it's new.  In my attempts to get him to sing the notes etc, he got mad.  He was leaning on the keyboard, which wobbles because he already weakened the stand by placing his feet on it.  And when I told him to stop, we got into a discussion about how upset I'd be if he broke a $350 keyboard.  He asked how much the stand was and I said it was probably $40.  He sneered at that and said it was a piece of crap.

I quit.  Go to bed.  I'm done with you for the day. 

It's all about the attitude.  The disrespect he's been showing everybody.  The problems he'll be facing in 4th grade if he keeps this up.

<breathe deep>

The Peace

The other day when we got to the YMCA for his before-school care, he was putting on his backpack when a little old lady was behind him.  I was going to chastise him, but he wasn't that close to hitting her, so I let it lie.  He pushed the button to open the automatic doors, then he moved over to open and hold the other door for the little old lady.  Then he did it again for the second set. 

I was so proud!

The Conclusion

I guess there's some hope for him.  I think instead of doing a swear jar (that includes the sarcastic terms "really" and "seriously"), maybe we should do a disrespect jar. At least then I'd feel like I wasn't on the losing end! 

Responsibilities and ADHD

I've struggled to get Patrick to do things without being told...5 or 10 times.  I know that I should get on him much, much sooner, but even I forget about the tasks.  And he can only be told to do one thing at a time.  And I feel like I'm always always telling him to do things.  Or not do things, as the case may be.  I just don't want to harp on it.  I feel like I'm always trying to push him down, to get him to stop moving, stop interrupting, stop goofing off.  It wears on me.

Let me site some examples.  I have him do sock patrol in the living room because somehow some way socks accumulate there.  Tonight he picked them up, but he went right past (over) a sock in the hallway to the bedrooms.  Another time I told him that it's his responsibility to empty the garbage cans in the other rooms.  The bathroom one was overflowing so I told him to empty it and make sure to pick up the garbage on the floor around it.  The second time I told him, he did take the can to the kitchen, but he didn't bring the can bank into the bathroom.  And he didn't pick up the trash on the floor.  So later I told him to get it back in the bathroom.  And for some reason, it ended up in his bedroom.  <sigh>  I told him again to put the can in the bathroom and pick up the garbage around it.  So he brought the can back and put half the garbage from the floor into it.  <sigh>  Please pick up the rest of the garbage and also the garbage on the counter.  Once the garbage on the floor was picked up, how about the stuff on the counter?

I signed Patrick up for piano lessons.  The place we go is fantastic, and the teacher is absolutely wonderful.  But within the first ten minutes of class, I'm so mad for having to motion to him so many times to calm down, to stop it, to listen....I'd have him drop out at the end of the semester if it wasn't such a good thing for him.  We both love it and he's good at it.  (His dad has a boatload of natural talent that I'm hoping Patrick inherited!)  The teacher handles him well by ignoring as much as he can and trying to ease him into the right action.  At home, if I don't sit with him while he practices, he only plays for about 3 minutes.  And then he's done!  Yes, Mom, I practiced it all.  When I sit with him, it's routinely 20 to 30 minutes.

Can you imagine how the homework goes?! I tell him to look at his planner and decide what to do. And on and on until it's time to pack up the backpack.  By then, I just do it. 

I have to be with him constantly if I want his homework done.  His chores.  His piano practice.   There's no self-starter capability being exercised here.  When will it end?  When will he accept the responsibility?!  When-I-teach-him.  When-he's-old-enough.  I've heard that other ADHD kids are like this, but it's making me nutty. 

If anyone has any tips to solve this it would be great.  Yes, I could just follow him around until things are done, but I've done that in his room.  It hasn't worked. 

Relaxing It Ain't

I'm supposed to have an almost-schedule free Saturday.  We have plans for the evening, but nothing else is on the books.  I wish my child would go outside and play.  I had my computer reimaged this week and I need to make sure my settings are correct and reload software.   It's not relaxing when you have to continually tell your child that he can't have it until you're done.  Seriously.  Stop asking.

On a good note, this Lazy Mom had the cleaning service in yesterday for the 2nd time in my life.  Oh, I really love coming home to a clean house!