When I was married, Mr. DBD counted on me to get money to his other ex for his daughter's child support. When we separated, his other ex was out of luck. Me too though.
I live in a county that requires non-custodial parents to have their child support garnished from their wages. I also was smart enough in the divorce to garnish some other fees, like reimbursement for health insurance. Normally my state would require the non-custodial parent to carry the health insurance for the child, but since Mr. DBD job hops so much, I decided to carry it myself.
Job hops? Since we met 17 years ago, there's only been one job that lasted more than a year. Normally he thinks the "grass is always greener." He may have the charisma to get a job easily, but lately he's had a hard time getting a job. That part of the story will wait a bit longer. Suffice it to say, garnishing child support in a case like this is tough.
Mr. DBD would hide the fact that he had a job. Eventually the state or I would find out and send paperwork. By then, most times he'd be gone, on to greener pastures.
Mr. DBD moved out the week of Patrick's first birthday. There was a two or three month period where he was working some kind of construction and was paid "under the table." It was good money and I got quite a bit of child support. Unfortunately, someone found out he wasn't qualified for the job and didn't have the proper certification. So no more support.
I was working three jobs and paid $800 a month for child care. Every cent meant the world to me.
I went about three years with maybe two payments. It was brutal. But I made it. I have a certain amount of pride for that!
Some may ask why I didn't throw him in jail. Well, he couldn't get a job if he was in jail. This state will also take away the driver's license, but then he couldn't drive to a job. I need the money, not the satisfaction of putting him behind bars. (I could dream though!)
And then the sky fell, the bell tolled, and the fat lady sang.
No more child support for a while. He's indisposed for 8-12 months. Yes, that's for a future post. I'm not ready for that yet.
So fast forward to last November. I got a payment! Then another. And another....and I'm still getting payments twice a month. And I SO need it. I know it'll end so I'm not counting on it much longer.
It's been about four years since I took Mr. DBD to court for some other issues. Mostly I was trying to get permission to move out of state, but I also requested permission to change Patrick's last name to mine. In return, I offered to write off $20,000 of back support. I was willing to deal. I only asked to change Patrick's last name so I could give it up. It's not like I really wanted to change it. But Mr. DBD signed the paperwork with nary a word or a squeal.
Twenty thousand dollars
In three years, he'd built up that kind of a balance. And since then it's back up to about that level I think.
But at least he's paying. For now.
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